The internet has made information immediate and relevant. At the click of a mouse, anything you want and need is there for your viewing. This immediacy has altered the dynamics of many transactions, not the least of which is how we relate with intimate relationships.
Web sites like Ashley Madison has even made cheating very conveniently by using it as a platform for cheating hearts. Virtual connections made in real time, sans the sexual connection, are slowly gaining a casual acceptance. As long as it does not compel a spouse to seek fulfillment anywhere, the other spouse may no longer find online flirtations threatening to the relationship.
The reason for an affair
Men and women in committed relationships may eventually reach a snag in their partnership. A mounting dissatisfaction left unaddressed coupled with no sense of responsibility, increases the vulnerability for an affair. Couples in committed relationships may then be tempted to seek satisfaction of their need from an outside party, who may be more than willing to indulge the needy spouse’s unmet needs.
For partners whose sexual needs aren’t met, finding a partner online maybe like circumventing the definition of cheating as it reduces the chances of real life infidelity.
Workplace friendships can potentially become emotional affairs. Emotional connections made with another person other than the spouse is dangerous as it slowly erodes the strength of the primary relationship. Not too many marriages suffered just because a spouse sought a co-worker for emotional support. When a party establishes an emotional connection with another person that is shrouded in secrecy, an affair is likely to happen
Is there a difference between online and off line cheating?
When a person in a committed relationship indulges in intimate emotional activity with another online, there are dangers involved. Online flirting diverts a person’s time and energy, not unlike an actual affair, from their primary relationship. When the main relationship becomes problematic or vulnerable, the temptation to connect to someone else can provide a diversion that eventually becomes a priority almost superseding the primary relationship.
This back up plan mentality can lead a man to consider consummating his online connection and discover if an affair would be easier and more satisfying than his current relationship. Infidelity is basically a betrayal of trust. It’s not about the sex. Internet affairs may not fit this definition if both parties are open to the arrangement. But this online activity can undermine the strength of the primary relationship in a way that when something is lacking, the desire to seek it elsewhere becomes justified.
Cheating in the 21st Century
Technology has made convenient what use to be difficult 20 years ago. Meeting with a potential date can now be done without the wife knowing what you’re up to. Here are some tactics cheaters use to hide their infidelity:
Create a separate e-mail account
– Unless the FBI is on your trail, this is a very convenient way to handle correspondence with a mistress without getting caught. Just don’t use your computer at home and erase your internet history when using a shared computer. Ex-CIA Director, General David Petraeus, and his mistress Paula Broadwell used this means of communication before the FBI got wind of their adulterous affair.
Open a separate bank account
– A separate bank account will allow you to hide your financial transactions by being the source of your cash. Don’t use your credit card to pay for expensive gifts, restaurant dates and motel reservations. These transactions will be reflected on your credit card billing. If you don’t want awkward questions later on, refrain from using a credit card or get one that your wife doesn’t know about.
Download Infidelity Apps
– Infidelity apps are the future of infidelity. Having these apps on your smart phone will ensure that all messages and files from your friend will not be accessible to prying eyes. Apps like Tiger Text hide incriminating messages and hide them in a separate folder where you get to view them later on at your pleasure. Apps like Blendr and Grindr, which use location based technology, allows for private chat interface, anonymous profiles and the ability to send messages and photos to potential partners. It does away with the need of having to share addresses via e-mail so a curious spouse won’t stumble upon it.
Study your Smart phone features
– Most Smartphones have security features that will ensure your privacy and lock your phone if not used. One phone in Japan, the Fujitsu F series, is a favored phone among Japanese philanderers. This phone has designed security features which alert the owner when their friend calls. The only give away is changing in the color of the battery icon when incriminating messages are received. Unanswered calls do not register if left unanswered.
Dodging Private Investigators
Private Investigators do good business all because cheating spouses are lousy with hiding details about their affairs. Always remember, a private investigator wouldn’t come into the picture if your wife didn’t suspect you were cheating. Don’t give your wife a reason to suspect.
“How to have an affair properly is to know how to hide behavior that will make your wife suspicious. Always pay in cash, try to act as normal as possible the way you did before you had the affair. Try to limit your “night out with the boys” and always have a good excuse to explain why you came home late. Shower your wife with gifts and give her attention.
Don’t overdo it, however.
On the plus side this may distract her from thinking you’re acting guilty and think that you really had her in mind. The downside is that she thinks you’re acting guilty and may confront you about it. In the event that she does, always observe the golden rule: deny, deny, deny!
Leading the double life
When you have decided to lead the double life, it’s important to understand that it has very strict rules. Ignore them at your own risk. Now, that you are ready to step into this world of adultery, you need to know how to have an affair and not get caught. For that you need to visit http://affairdatingguide.com/how-to-have-an-affair/ and learn the affairs tactics to be a seasoned cheater.
When you are scouting a potential partner, always lay the ground rules. You do the calling. Lock your phone and hide your infidelity apps. Unless your marriage is just plain miserable and you don’t have the guts to walk away, make your partner understand that the relationship is just for sex. Do not engage in any activity that will lead one or both of you to fall in love with each other. There is nothing like emotions to give an affair away.
When things aren’t going well, don’t press the affair. Take advantage of technology but understand that it also has its down side. Nothing can be hidden anymore. An email can easily be traced through its IP address and infidelity apps can immediately give you away. Even if the hard drive hasn’t been used for long, a forensic search of the equipment will reveal incriminating emails even if deleted already while your Smartphone can give your location away.
Leading the double life may be exciting but its consequences can cost you more than you may be willing to lose. In the event that you think your marriage is in trouble, have the courage to fight for it. Closed lips don’t get you what you need.